Newspaper *

This afternoon while writing about the atrophy of the newspaper market, I remembered helping a friend with his paper route for a few months back when we were both in junior high school. His name was Rodney Hammonds. His family had moved into the large two story house just east of the junk yard in Charlottesville. Rodney and I became fast friends when he intervened in a possible scuffle with a few older boys about some stupid thing I can’t even recall that was no doubt caused by a difference in opinion.

I helped Rodney on Sundays with the monstrous Sunday morning editions of the Indianapolis Star. We fashioned wagons to our bicycles to pick up the substantial delivery load. I imagined each family with their paper; chubby little children pouring over the color comics, mother’s looking through ads and clipping coupons, and father’s with pipe and slippers combing over all the important world news and flipping to the sports page to find out what great victory, or blunder had occurred.

Today I read that many papers barely have enough weight, or content, to make the toss all the way to porches and front doors across our bible belted America. It’s just not profitable to advertize in a rapidly decreasing market; and if a newspaper can’t make money, it can’t very well be expected to keep those presses running.

I wonder if one day I’ll be telling my grandchildren about the smell of fresh ink on newsprint paper, and trying to describe the snap, rumple, crimp, and crease of a morning paper with coffee???

Reaper

I pulled the powder blue blanket from my bed

To line the box on the kitchen floor

We used to jump and laugh and play

Our back yard like a jungle

My sister tried to dress him once

like a doll

And stroll down the side walk

He was so weak and helpless

No longer able to chew a shoe

Not like his former self

I prayed to GOD

Tiny belly

Skin soft and hot

The color of peanuts

Hanging from his bones

Big brown eyes seemed shallow

I would not sleep

I cried

How could I sleep

He knew all my secrets

But could hardly lift his head

Sounds from Viet Nam on the TV

Walter Cronkite drifting in from the living room

No! I can’t come out and play

I’m saying goodbye to my best friend

National Past Time

I used to think the great national pastime was the pursuit of pleasant sexual encounters, or perhaps participating in a sport of some kind,
but now I believe the national past time is
BITCHING, COMPLAINING, and BELLY ACHING!
It seems as if there are more justifications in bitching about
things than there are things to bitch about.
What a waste of time and energy.
If you can see something to do to change
a situation then do it, if you cannot, do something else...
These three behavioral aspects will ensure a growing dissatisfaction
with life while robbing you from your joy: thinking and worrying about the past, while complaining of the present, and fearing future.


Hey ! Don't just do something, sit there... CRY BABY !

esoteric surprise

While cruising by an awesome looking cigar store in Bloomington,
my attention was drawn to a sign adjacent to the handicap logo/ sticker
on the window that read " Enter from Within"...
I'll admit it seemed a little spiritual for an access sign.
turns out some wise ass had scratched off the other part of the sign
that indicated how to get into the larger building housing that shop.
After we looked at it for a minute - We decided we liked it just the way it is.
Thank You Scratchy : )

Do's and Don'ts When Interacting With People With Physical Disabilities

DO

Respect the person's personal property (canes, wheelchairs, crutches, communication
boards, etc.). Unless given specific permission, do not move, play with, or use their
assistive devices.

Rearrange furniture if there is something blocking the way of their wheelchair.

Try to get on eye level with the person when talking to them, if possible.

Be considerate of the extra time it might take for a person with a disability to get things
done or said. Let the person set the pace in walking and talking.

Consider accessibility when choosing areas to hold gatherings, meetings, parties, etc.

Speak to the person who has the disability and not just someone with them. Be patient and
ask questions if you can't understand them.

Ask the person questions about their disability. Most people are very willing to share.

Let your child talk to people with disabilities. Understanding is the key to acceptance.

Ask the person if they need some help. The worst they can do is say "No, thank you."

Use proper terms when describing various disabilities.

Treat the person just like you would treat a non-disabled person.

Carry on normal conversations with people with disabilities. They are most likely
interested in the same things that you are.

Emphasize the uniqueness and worth of all persons rather than the differences between
people. Concentrate on the person's achievements, abilities, and individual qualities.

Promote acceptance and understanding among all people.

Relax and just be yourself.


DON'T

Talk down to the person or like they are a child.

Pat someone with a disability on the head. They are not pets or toys. They are people.

Lean on the person's wheelchair when you are near them. The chair is part of their personal
space.

Assume that the person can shake hands with you. Not everyone can shake hands. Try a nod or a smile instead.

Stare at the person. They are not a picture to be examined.

Be embarrassed if you happen to use accepted common expressions such as "Must Dash" "See you later"
or "Got to be running along" that seem to relate to the person's disability.

Use terms such as crippled, victim, deformed, retarded, etc. when describing the person.

Talk about the person like they are not in the room.

Focus on the disability. ALWAYS concentrate on the individual.

Make decisions for the person. They know what they like, what they don't like, and what they can and cannot do.

Exclude people with disabilities from participating in anything because you think it may be too difficult for them to participate.

Judge the person by their looks or by their equipment.

Purple Lady

Purple lady fair
long and lovely
raven hair
forever young
and laughs a lot
her kisses always
hit the spot
Happy Monday
xoxo

Ayúdame

obvious? you'd think

yea lets

what's the first thing you think of when you see this sign

Fat Rat Greenfield Summer *

My friend reported
that last evening when she returned home
her children had scrawled her cell phone number
on the side of their family dog, an extremely obese rat terrier, in blue eye shadow
and tied him up to some lawn furniture in the front yard
but the old boy was found in mid-stride several blocks
away from the house dragging a lawn chair down the middle of the street
and making a path for the A&W Root Beer stand...

A Racing Pot Belly ?

This morning I heard about
a middle school student who was raising a pot belly pig
to show in competition at this summer's 4 H county fair
this little girl had bottle fed the pig since he was a piglet
and had named him Wilbur
well, a couple weeks ago Wilbur got away
and nobody could catch him including
the middle school cross country runner*
I didn't think pot belly pigs were noted for their awesome speed
my reply was
maybe they should have named him lightening or FLASH

reports have been coming in from all over the county
from people who claim to have spotted Wilbur
in various places
some of these reports are phone calls accompanied
by a pause and several long hardy laughs at the end

daily wonders in phone calls

A friend called today from New Orleans
He said he was sitting in a laundry mat
when a large rat sauntered in
my friend mentioned the rat to the owner
a Vietnamese monk with four missing fingers
who said " Oh did she eat the candy"
my friend asked him if he was feeding that rat
and the monk replied "yes, I think it is my mother"

Meow*

A girl with her cat
the new bed coverings
a playground
the orange bag of food
is easier on her kidneys
butterscotch and white
with the face of an owl
don't set down your coffee cup
she'll bury it with air
stop letting her out so late
with her toes like that
she talking down the squirrels
wait until she learns to dial
what a lover of finicky feline fancy
tar x 2 star for short

Flower Monk

Photo by Carrie Torres

Beside you there is nothing:

you dance, appearing in all.

Sitting in silence,

dancing in gratitude,

dancing like the huge waves,
                                                 
moving like the white clouds,

you see you, you see the you

who sees you,

with gratitude you see,

with gratitude you are seen:

Persian to Person

“Once I had the strength but no wisdom, now I have the wisdom but no strength”

“One pound of learning requires ten pounds of common sense to apply it.”

“He who has been bitten by a snake fears a piece of string.”

“Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake” (and clean the bird cage)

“Good poets are like angels of Heaven”

“By a sweet tongue and kindness, you can drag an elephant with a hair”

“A stone thrown at the right time is better than gold given at the wrong time”

"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you"

Not afraid of attention

Some egos seek attention

through the expression of

"me and my story"

this is fine

as long as identifying the self

with the self

is not limited by form

June 1,2011

Home again home again jiggity jog

Not unlike the Valentine’s Day fiasco, there we were again sitting inside Einstein, my blue 1988 Ford Econoline van, just outside the entrance of Adaggios banquet hall where we, along with six other families, had an open house and party for our High school graduates. Carrie and I were about to get out of the van when (((click ’arrrrr tic cha tic))) the doors would not open, STUCK AGAIN inside the van within sight of our destination. These kinds of setbacks can be very discouraging when you’re working from a wheelchair. Carrie was able to tap the set pins out of the linkage with a hammer but mashed her thumb in the process- bless her heart. Without the pins the doors swung freely and the rest of the electronic functions for the lift worked just fine. For the ride home we locked ourselves inside the van and tied the doors closed with bungee cords. This make -shift solution worked well until we made our last turn into the driveway at home at which point the bungee’s sprang off, the doors flew open, and Carrie let out a loud wail like a banshee crossed with a screaming curse. She said later that she thought the doors were going to hit the fence post and take out the pine tree…

There Could Be Holy Fallout ~ Hafiz

We are often in battle.
So often defending every sideof the fort,
It may seem, all alone.

Sit down, my dear,
Take a few deep breaths,
Think about a loyal friend.
Where is your music,
Your pet, a brush?

Surely one who has lasted as long as you
Knows some avenue or place inside
That can give a sweet respite.


If you cannot slay your panic,
Then say within
As convincingly as you can,
"It is all God's will!"

Now pick up your life again.
Let whatever is out there
Come charging in,

Laugh and spit into the air,
There could be holy fallout.

Throw those ladders like tiny latch sticks
With "just" phantoms upon them
Who might be trying to scale your heart.

Your love has an eloquent tone.
The sky and I want to hear it!

If you still feell helpless
Give our battle cry again.

Hafiz
Has shouted it a myriad times,

"It is all,
It is all the Beloved's will!"

What is that luminous rain I see
All around you in the future

Sweeping in from the east plain?

It looks like, O it looks like
Holy fallout

Filling your mouth and palms
With Joy!

Rumi

When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.

Morning Smile

The soulful morning smile
is a treasure
of mind and heart.
In the morning,
the greatness of the mind
and the goodness of the heart
are inseparable...

Thank You Washington Irving *

Much like the fabled sleeper,
I too succumbed to the sweet
slumber during the latest installment
of Disney's Pirate movies. It's become a tradition
that Carrie and I take Jared and Andrew to see them.
We love Johnny, Geoffry, and Penelope,
and were thrilled to be able to catch another movie with our two sons.

Now I don't know if it's my age, or the fact that
I didn't get much sleep the night before,
or if by ability to suspend disbelief has simply diminished
so completely that... guess it doesn't matter really.

Being brought back to wakefulness by having your
girlfriend poke you in the ribs while saying
"Wake up Rip Van Winkle! you were snoring"
was far more entertaining that viewing the latest adventures of
Cap'n Jack Sparrow - and I dare say far more Pirate of me in a way anyway
So May Ye be Warned  All of Ye

Home Health Aides

I have a strange form of muscular dystrophy. I use a power wheelchair every day. I have home health aides who come to my house twice a day. One aide comes to help me get out of bed and run through a series of range of motion exercises to work out the rigidity and pain from contracted muscles. These aides also help me with simple tasks like bathing, grooming, dressing, meal preparations, and sometimes light housekeeping. My health aides are extremely valuable to me and their help enables me to have a higher quality of life. The (ROM) range of motion exercises help reduce severe chronic muscle and joint pain, encourages circulation, discourages muscle atrophy, reduces swelling, and keeps me from becoming a pharmaceutical junkie. The health aides help me maintain a certain level of freedom and independence while avoiding the nursing home as a place of residence.

The problem with home health aides is that there are very few good ones. The aides who are good at their job, who possess a compassionate, loving, helpful, attitude are absolutely golden. The majority of home health aides however are only marginally better than having no help at all. Many people are drawn to this particular profession because it looks like something easy to do. Some of them are burnouts, alcoholics, and or drug abusers who couldn’t possibly hold a job in any other profession. One reason for the bottom of the barrel employee pool is the low pay and no benefits. Another reason is the perception that this type of work is not very important. It is a strange rotation of different people coming and going in a person’s life who have such intimate contact with you that it’s difficult to maintain a strict, business like relationship… to be continued later

JOURNALISM

      At the beginning of this last semester I was in the middle of a news hiatus/boycott due to my disgust of the local and world news. I was finding again and again that the so called “news” seemed ever increasingly obtrusive, disturbing, and left me with a general bad feeling about myself and the world in which I live. I realized that in order to supplement and digest a journalism course I needed to open the doors once again to this particular type of media. This time, due to the class, I made every effort to take an analytic view of the journalism that was coming into my life – on the television, computer, newspaper, and magazines. I started looking at reporting and journalism as a tool and craft. I began wondering how practitioners learned to blend the different components to create the most effective form. This view also emphasized my often times cynical perception that the media has many hidden agendas in addition to relaying useful information. In fact, I still suspect that much of the news has a specific, although I would not dare say purposeful, blatant, or obvious strategy/plan of sensationalizing much of the daily hardships and challenges that people encounter. My perceptions also include a vague feeling of mass media attempts to generate fear. I’ve asked myself many times why would anyone want to create a more fearful public. Perhaps it is a mechanism used to generate a need for more information, as if the same people who make you fearful can in some way, at some time, provide information that will appease the fear, or give some clues to its resolution. The only other alternatives I can divine are that creating a fearful audience can somehow make people feel closer, as in having a common enemy, or the simple approach; fearful people are easier to control.

Religion has performed this skillful technique most proficiently for thousands of years, why not the evening news. Another form that I see in the media is the “justice” stories. These stories illustrate that every once in awhile poetic justice, or the God finger of karma, draws a line in the sand as if to say enough! I think these stories help the fearful people believe that sooner or later the bad guy’s gonna pay. It also creates the illusion that the good guys are in control and are looking out for you--the old “we’ll take care of everything you just mind your own business keep your head down and pay your taxes.” As suspicious or paranoid as this may sound, I’ve still been able to separate my emotions from the information delivery systems for the most part. I respect and appreciate the artful craft, techniques, timing, format, word choice, visual impact, audio changes, and the professional, and sometimes not so professional, presentation. With that aside I can say that my introduction to journalism course has afforded me an opportunity to look at the nuts and bolts of a well-oiled, working machine. I can appreciate all the work that goes into each and every story I hear on the radio, read in the paper/on the computer, or watch on the television. I’ll admit that some stubborn part of me still insists on hanging on to my opinion/perception that the teams of professionals working to keep the media machine running smoothly are true magical, mystical masters of shellacking and polishing stories in such a way that creates an incredible patina which viewers seem to find irresistible. This appears to be one of the most essential ingredients in reaching and capturing the desired audience.

I admire all the research that has to be done in order to piece together a really good story or article. After taking the class, I now think of who wrote the copy that the news anchor is reading from the prompter. Now when I read an article on the computer I will look for at least one other similar story and compare the facts. After I see the evening weather report on one channel, I flip to another station to compare their weather report, and then I split the difference between the two, and consequently believe less than half of what they say.  : ) I want to be idealistic, hopeful, innocent, trusting, sweet, and kind instead of suspicious, bitter, resentful, mean, and nasty. Several months ago I watched Ann Curry of the Today show interview His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and his reaction to her question of why he doesn’t follow the news more carefully most eloquently sums up my general opinion. He said “I find it neither helpful nor accurate.”  My inclination is to afford everyone the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t stand to feel as if I am being handled, manipulated, or coerced into something. Any indication that someone is running a game of trickery raises my cynical flag and puts the breaks on my ability to feel as if I am a willing participant; it challenges my concept of precious free will and I will never go gently into that good night. Thank You Dylan Thomas, Clarence Thomas, Danny and Marlo Thomas!

            Alix *

    Everything is consciousness,

    everything fits together

    its all self organizing

    evolution unfolds within itself

    freedom is the ultimate goal



OWL




                  

A wise old owl lived in an oak
The more he saw the less he spoke
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?

Owls know when to move silently and when to be still, which makes them the keepers of secrets. These solitary birds don't feel the need to proclaim their presence to anyone until the timing is right. Owl comes to us when we need to open our eyes, and study the situation at hand. If we watch and listen with our inner selves we can figure out what is happening behind the scenes.  Owl sees and knows the truth. The foundation of its essence is that Owl can navigate through the darkest night and bring back nourishment for itself and others If you have lost your way, owl essence will guide you back to your path and     wisdom.

 

10 steps to Wholeness



Nourish your light body, turn entropy into evolution,
commit yourself to deeper awareness, be generous of spirit,
focus on relationships instead of consumption, relate to your body consciously,
embrace every day as a new world, let the timeless be in charge of time,
feel the world instead of trying to understand it, seek after your own mystery
 - Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul - Deepak Chopra



Tree of Flame - original water color Alix Cain

And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him
in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush:
and he looked, and, behold,
the bush burned with fire,
and the bush was not consumed.

From the Blustery Day *

The rain, rain, rain came down, down, down
In rushing, rising riv'lets,
'til the river crept out of its bed
And crept right into Piglet's!
Poor Piglet, he was frightened,
With quite a rightful fright.
And so, in desperation
A message he did write.
He placed it in a bottle
And it floated out of sight.

And the rain, rain, rain came down, down, down
So Piglet started bailing.
He was unaware, atop his chair,
While bailing he was sailing!

And the rain, rain, rain came down, down, down
And the flood rose up, up, upper.
Pooh, too, was caught and so he thought,
"I must rescue my supper!"
Ten honey pots he rescued,
Enough to see him through,
But as he sopped up his supper,
The river sopped up Pooh!
And the water twirled and tossed him
In a honey pot canoe!

"Kindness is the light

that dissolves all walls

 between souls, families, and nations."
  -  Paramahansa Yogananda  -

Dear Voice

Your phrasing is very romantic,

Your vibrato is very luscious;

Your andante is tempered with whimsy

 and is taught with smiles and just a waiver of emotional turmoil,

Your pitch is right on,

Your glissando is like easing into an herbal bath surrounded by candle light, 

I bet you could sing harmonies that would make angels envy,

I like that very much and for what it's worth, I like You too !

~ The Veneration of Wonder ~

Beyond the pavilion

Below the antediluvian sky

There is a flourishing beauty

That thrives like a mystical moment

Wrapped in the fabric of a fable

With the expansion of presence

An abundant splendor

Awaits

something true and sublime *

Thoreau claims we’re not completely immersed in reality and to get there, to our own personal reality, we need to figure out our purpose. He writes, “In eternity there is indeed something true and sublime. But all these times and places and occasions are now and here…And we are enabled to apprehend at all what is sublime and noble only by the perpetual instilling and drenching of the reality that surrounds us…whether we travel fast or slow, the track is laid for us.” Much like the eastern philosophy of Buddhism which values the present moment as a way towards deeper understanding, Thoreau says that truths are not only found in eternity, but in the “now and here.” It is our duty to recognize meaning in each moment, if we are to come to a better understanding of our self and the “track” that “is laid for us.” Henry David Thoreau

57 Years Ago...

A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which they have obtained liberation from the self.

We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if humanity is to survive. (Albert Einstein, 1954)

CHAIR

It’s not just money – a pile we could use

 Your ability to disguise yourself like everyone else, you lose

To hide among the folks with nothing in their head

Standing, kicking tires, repeating something someone else said

Young minds see so clearly yet they judge so harshly

All they have seen are objects of pity

No matter if he’s clever generous or witty

Billy had a chair – he’s dying soon

Maria had a chair- She died on a Friday at noon

Pity the people you see in the chair

The message implied is incredibly clear

He is kind and consistent, he is a crippled loser

It’s annoying to wait on a disabled Hoosier

It embarrasses us, because people are looking

We don’t want them to think that he is our dad

Does he feel like the rest of us, does he ever get mad

Mom can’t you find someone better somewhere

Even your friends say

You’ve got your hands full there

Missionary is out of the question

Maybe someone with a grown up profession

Lips don’t line up right for a kiss

Why can’t you just that,

Why don’t you just this?

Act as if you don’t notice, does he even care

How can he smile, always stuck in that chair

Where is his shame, what’s he doing out there

Rolling and laughing with all that long hair

A drawing of Carrie...
It amazes me how her beauty unfolds more each passing day
the challenge of awareness is now an active role,
this causes great happiness and endows us both with
a new, vibrant, creative energy. Awareness is like Magic !
Because once you peel away the layers of perceptions, attachments,
and just plain old too much thinking, you find that there is Abundance for everyone.

What wheelchair? Valentine date turned rural

Last night Saturday February 12, 2011

Carrie and I made for the Hiton Garden stay,
I had reservations for a wonderful romantic get away
a special Valentine package with champagne strawberries and chocolate etc.
long story short ~
My 1988 Blue Ford Econoline van Einstein broke down just outside of the hotel
I couldn't even get all the way out of the van! The
platform stuck between the van and the east lane of Pennsylvania Street
between Ohio and Market Street
cars zooming by
no options- little hope -what could we do?  - 911? National Guard? superman? who can you call?
Ghost busters? No, I dare say NO
we did manage to get the lift back up
and the doors secured with me inside
had to call and cancel the reservations 50 feet from the entrance !
No penalty thank GOD after I explained my
position to the manager, Megan,lol
She said they could bring us out some water if we wanted
and Carrie could come in and use the bathroom and get warm if need be..
I called a flat bed tow truck from home,
Carrie and I were transported on the flat bed sitting in Einstein
all the way back home.
Dad charged the battery enough so I could use the lift
and get out- we didn't quite freeze completely
we did manage to salvage some of the evening -

 Carrie went and got us some food from Culvers
and we camped out in my room, much like we always do during these months of the year
got to relate to each other and watch some TV.

NOTE: Funniest thing of the evening
while riding in Einstein on the tow truck Carrie and I saw some tea party protesters
and she wanted to give them the finger,
I laughed till I cried LOL
I said Imagine how you'd feel if your concern was so off base as to encourage
people riding in a broken down 21 year old handicap van that was being hauled on a flatbed
truck from the Charlottesville junk yard so enraged and disgusted at your cause
to be prompted to gesture so, as they were rolling by in style HA!
You had to be there I guess...
Still, we continue with our mingling as if there is little choice
who else could do it I ask ya? Fate Destiny  Karma Whatever~
it takes a lot of attitude, humor, and love!
Alix
God Bless the people of Charlottesville junk yard Steve and Cooter Payne be thy name * 

Q & A: WHAT WHEELCHAIR? First dates

Our first date was on Alix's birthday~HAPPY BIRTHDAY TODAY ALIX!!! <3~~~ eight years ago....It was the best first date ever! What Wheelchair?  I was floating on the elation of new love....  : )  I didn't see it. Even when it took forever moving a booth seat so we could have a cozy corner spot. Alix was not self-conscious one bit as we waited forever while the elderly restaurant owner huffed and puffed trying to wrestle the seat out of the way....I was probably trying to touch his hair or something--lol--- and figured if he didn't mind, neither did I.....We got seated and he flirted, held my hands, made me scream with laughter....Tell us your restaurant experiences with wheelchairs, love, first dates--all subjects very near and dear to us. : ) <3
Carrie
P.S.--On our first trip to Camp Chesterfield, a cat jumped into our laps! (I was riding on Alix's lap.)

Flower Power

First poppy of spring exploding like orange chiffon

the other flowers know it was the first to show its face

and now they can, in their time, show theirs

beauty surrounds us if we simply look

at all the miracles that abound

blessed